What is The Sellafield Playgroup?

The brain works right around the clock, pouring out useful commands like “FINGER!  Scratch head!” and “ARMPIT!  Make an unnecessary amount of odour!”  However, on occasion it has the temptation to frolic, engaging in more recreational activities like Scrabble, cookery and roller coasters (why?!?!)  One of its more weird and wonderful pastimes of choice is ‘imagining’; this involves thinking about absolutely anything – for example:
– A minstrel bear defending the second floor of Debenhams from an army of denim-clad walruses;
– The 1966 World Cup-winning team becoming liver salesmen in Iraq;
– Crete and its impending destruction;
– The art of moisturising a brick;
– The number 49 and why it is particularly evil;
– Poppadoms.

Sometimes the brain has so many of these mutant thoughts all in one go that it forgets to do the important things, like changing light bulbs or watching Match of the Day.  The Sellafield Playgroup is a happy place where mutant thoughts are deposited, free to roam and play to their hearts’ content whilst allowing normal brain service to resume.

So is it just a load of thoughts?

No, there is a structure – in fact, a very rigid one.  A bit like Germany in the days of the Weimar Republic…

All blog entries in the Sellafield Playgroup are written as streams of consciousness.  The brain is allowed to write and write and write (and write) for 20 minutes – no more, no less.  Then it has a 10-minute opportunity to correct any silly typos and take out any bits that are rubbish, drab or highly offensive.  Once this process is completed it is published as a post; this happens once a week, every Tuesday (although occasionally on a Wednesday if I’ve been kidnapped or got locked in at Sainsbury’s again) – at least, that’s the plan; but a new baby can make regularity difficult at times (SERIOUS FACE).  30 minutes to write, just 5 minutes to read and a lifetime to enjoy/be appalled at.

Think of it as a homage to the short story.

Can my child join your playgroup?

No.  The Playgroup (capital ‘P’, note) is for ideas and notions, not children.  Any children attempting to join the Playgroup will be forgotten.

Why are there only three FAQ’s in this blog?

There aren’t – there are 4.  Idiot.

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